The Five Dimensions of Being Powerful and Empowering Others
By Ray Gebauer
By Ray Gebauer
One of the most common and costly mistakes people make in business (and life) is assuming that their success is based on having the right information, in a system or in doing something.
The truth is, power and influence with others (not over others) is neither intellectual nor is it a function of something external. It is an inside job. It has to do with your energy and power.
If you want to be a leader, or just be successful with building something great, you need to learn the secrets of being a powerful person and empowering others.
There are five dimensions of being powerful and empowering others::
The CAUSE—The POWER is in your PURPOSE
“It is very dangerous to go into eternity with possibilities which one has oneself prevented from becoming realities. A possibility is a hint from God. One must follow it.” Soren Kierkegaard (1813-55)
Your cause is your Vision, Purpose, Mission, Your “Why”, Reasons, Goals, a Crusade.
Having a clear compelling CAUSE is your first and primary source of power and empowerment.
Your cause needs to be Multi-Level:
• A Cause that benefits you personally (e.g. new house, financial and time freedom, etc)
• A Cause that benefits your Family
• A Cause that benefits Others, as a purpose or goal BIGGER than you (a higher cause)
For a cause to be empowering, it must also be congruent with your core desires in life. On a scale from one to ten, it must be ten, or else it will fizzle.
Why are we attracted to being a part of a cause?
People are attracted to a cause because a cause affirms that we are valuable, important and significant. A cause gives us a personal sense of meaning and purpose. This is extremely attractive to us because virtually universally, we all feel, down deep, the very opposite: stupid and worthless, and not valuable, important or significant.
A CAUSE powerfully affirms our inherent value and importance in two ways:
• Contribution -- Real wealth is the contribution you make.
Think of this: “I am a possibility for contribution”
• Connection -- When I really connect to another person, my own value is powerfully affirmed. A real connection generates a sense of value and security. This is why people want to be loved—so they can feel valuable and secure in that connection.
Network marketing is the most powerful way to harness these dual dynamics of being a contribution and connecting to others in a meaningful way.
Of all the many ways to describe network marketing, such as MLM, referral marketing, Friendship marketing, Conversational marketing, my favorite is “Mission Marketing” and “Cause Marketing”. When you view what you are doing as “Mission Marketing”, when you are on a crusade, you and your people are powerful and virtually unstoppable!
The best place to look to create your personal cause is in your past. Ask yourself what happened to you that was either very painful, unfair, or a great struggle. E.g. if you struggled as a single mom, your cause may be about helping other single moms; if your struggle was with feeling inferior, maybe your cause could be about helping others overcome their sense of not being good enough. Out of your pain, you create your purpose. Out of your crisis, you create your cause!
My personal cause/vision/mission is _________________________________________
My higher cause/vision is _________________________________________________
Here is a sample Mission statement (mine): My purpose in life is to honor God by empowering people to live life fully, free of fear and full of faith.
Like oxygen is to your body, Purpose/Cause is to your spirit. Without it you’re dead.
Purpose is also the source of PASSION. Passion then reinforces and refuels your Purpose/Cause!
There are three powerful dimensions to Cause/Purpose/Vision/Mission:
• See it! (Perception)
• Say it! (Declaration—both to yourself and to others—“go public”)
• Seize it! (Action—just do it and be unstoppable)
To empower others, you must help them find or create a cause into which they can put their heart. A cause or mission that just sounds good, or is based on principle or intellect will have no power. Share your cause and invite them to be a part of your higher cause.
“When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manner that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.” Old Native American saying
The CREATION—POWER is in your PROCLAMATION
“If you can dream it, you can do it.” Walt Disney (1901-1966)
Made in the image of the Creator, what do I create? Either consciously or unconsciously, I create my life and my future (destiny). Either I am deliberately creating my life (being the cause), or I’m at the effect of someone else creating it.
There is a force that controls your life. It has two sides: Faith and Fear (the dark side of the force!). In the movie, Star Wars, it was said, “May the force be with you” – it already is, but which side?
Both faith and fear are generated in our mind and with our imagination.
Albert Einstein stated, “Imagination is more powerful than knowledge”, but we boast about living in the “Information Age”.
• You can use your imagination to create FEAR and imprison yourself in the limitations of a small box with the illusion of safety and security, or…
• Use your imagination to create FAITH and release yourself into freedom and into a destiny!
Which do you choose?
How do we create? We create by DECLARATION as an act of courage and faith.
Think of the Declaration of Independence for the USA. The thirteen tiny colonies desired to be free, but they were not. So they just declared that they were, and made it into an official document. Out of this bold declaration, they were empowered to create freedom. It took a war and years of struggle, but their declaration empowered them to prevail.
Remember the story of David and Goliath? David had no experience fighting giants, yet he made a bold declaration that Goliath was dead meat! He announced to the Goliath (and the crowd) that he was going to cut off his head, and David didn’t even have a sword (he used Goliath’s!)
Back in 1961, the US was in a space race with Russia. They were well ahead of us. So President John F. Kennedy one day stood up and made a bold declaration—we would have a man on the moon before the end of the decade! All the engineers had a heart attack! There was no technology to accomplish this unrealistic venture. But the declaration empowered them to make it happen, and it did.
You don’t need evidence for a declaration. You make it up! You always have and always will be making us interpretations about things, e.g. I could never do that (that’s a negative declaration).
So why not make up something powerful, something noble and inspiring?
Declarations are never true when they are spoken. A declaration is a speech act that is grounded in faith and vision. So don’t ask if it is true—it isn’t! The better question is this: is it empowering?
Declarations are always unreasonable. Why not be “unreasonable”? Why limit yourself to being “reasonable”? Nothing great ever has happened in history that was considered to be reasonable!
A declarations gives you a powerful place from which to come as opposed to moving toward what you want. For example, you are may not be a leader right now—that is the truth. But if you declare yourself as a leader, if you see yourself as a leader in DEVELOPMENT, you will be far more empowered to make it happen than if you merely see yourself possibly becoming one someday.
Why not hold yourself as a leader right now, being one (in development) instead of becoming one?
“Becoming” is fine, but it is not as powerful or empowering as being.
A child doesn’t become a human—it is human, and is in development. As a Christian, I am not becoming a Christian—I am being one, and I am in development.
Empower yourself by creating a Declaration right now:
I am__________________________________________________________________
The COMMITMENT—The POWER is in your PROMISE
“Success is like wresting a gorilla. You don’t quit when you’re tired—you quit
when the gorilla’s tired” Robert Strauss
Most people get faked out with thinking that power is in figuring out what they want and then writing it down as goals. Goals can be more a point of embarrassment than a point of empowerment if they lack the critical dimension of commitment.
Wanting, desire and decision are all impotent:
• Root meaning of “want”—to be without, lacking, destitute, wish, desire (See Psalms 23:1)
• Root meaning of “desire”—to long for, wish for, crave, covet, want
• Root meaning of “decision”—to cut off, separate, to kill off (the other options)
Decision is not a positive word in its origin. “Decide” comes from the same root word as do these words: suicide, homicide and genocide! Besides, “decision” is not an opening or a promise for action. If ten birds are sitting on a fence and one decides to fly off, how many are left?
Probably all ten—deciding does not automatically result in taking action!
There is NO POWER in wanting, wishing, desire or deciding. Zero!
Everyone WANTS to be “rich and thin” and has decided many times to do just that. But so what—it doesn’t mean anything! Wanting does not create action. Desire without commitment is delusion. The Power is in the PROMISE!
• The root meaning of “Commitment”— “together” + “to send” (as on a mission)
• The root meaning of “Promise”— “forward” + “to send” (as on a mission)
What is the source of commitment? We simply create or generate it!
For others, we create or generate commitment by simply asking them to make a commitment or promise to us, so that we can be a point of empowerment for them.
What interferes most with making a commitment: the fear of failure (a disempowering interpretation) or the fear of not being adequate or good enough.
It may appear that there is a serious lack of commitment among most people. My perspective is that everyone is fiercely committed; there is no lack of commitment. The issue is this: to what are you really committed?
People are universally, to one degree or another, very committed to:
• Being right and avoiding being wrong
• Looking good and avoiding looking bad or stupid
• Play safe and avoiding risk
• Avoiding being dominated, or to be in control so as to avoid being controlled
These commitments, all of which are fear based, don’t leave much room to take on a new venture where there is a possibility of not being right, not looking good to your friends, not succeeding, etc.
So with these competing commitments already in place, the new commitment must be so much stronger that it over rides the ones already in place. This is why it is more important to focus on empowering someone in the broadest way possible than to just go through the mechanics, including even the mechanics of getting agreements and commitments, which are empowering as well.
To what are you willing to commit?
• Long term (your mission/life) __________________________________________
• One year ____________________________________________________________
• 90 days _____________________________________________________________
• This month __________________________________________________________
• Weekly ______________________________________________________________
• Daily ________________________________________________________________
The Benefits to Making Unreasonable Commitments
If you want to empower yourself on an even higher level, commit to something that is unreasonable and even impossible for you to do on your own. This will require you to do two things that will make a tremendous difference in your life: you will need to grow personally so that you can handle it, and you will need to enroll others into your project, creating a team of people.
We tend to make commitments that are comfortable, commitments that we know we can easily keep. This means that they are too small. If you want to grow and be more powerful, make big commitments that challenge you, that will force you to become bigger yourself. If you want to have larger muscles, don’t lift the weights that are easy to lift.
The Benefits to taking on responsibility that you don’t need to
Most people avoid responsibility like they would an infectious disease. This is because we feel inadequate (not powerful) and thus want to avoid failure. Avoid responsibility or being responsible for something that you can easily do or will happen anyway, such as the sun coming up, disempowers us. It makes us smaller and weaker.
However, one of the secrets to being powerful and empowering others is to do the very opposite: take on responsibility that would normally not be considered as your responsibility. The benefit to doing this is that it empowers you, and you become more creative and effective. You can choose to take on responsibility not because you really are responsible, but because it empowers you.
E.g. it’s normal to be responsible for your side of a marriage. But to hold yourself as responsible for the success of the entire relationship and it’s maturity will empower you. It’s normal to take your responsibility for what you are required to do in your job or business, but to choose to take on responsibility for the success of the entire company, though unreasonable, will greatly empower you.
Most people view responsibility as a burden—you can view it as an opportunity to grow and expand yourself, empowering yourself so as to dramatically increase your impact in the world. So why not empower yourself by committing to be responsible for the success of your marriage, for both sides of communication, for your entire church, your entire company, your country, even something on a global scale. Then take it seriously, and act accordingly.
Breaking your promise/commitment and maintaining your integrity
One of the biggest blocks (resistance) we tend to have about making commitments and promises is that we are afraid that if we don’t keep them, we are out of integrity, and others will look down on us. The standard cultural interpretation of not keeping an agreement is that we are bad. We make it into an integrity and moral issue.
Not keeping my word actually says nothing about my integrity. As long as I am willing to clean it up, I am in integrity. I can even choose to consciously break my commitment or promise and still be in integrity, as long as I am willing to clean it up and pay the consequences.
If I don’t feel free to either break (change my mind) or fall short of keeping my commitments, I will rarely make them, or I will only make small commitments that I know I can keep. The price I pay for that is that I will always play small, and never be powerful, and never make much difference in life.
If I take the risk of making a big promise and not being able to come through, I empower myself, and I will have a far greater impact in life. If I don’t do what I committed to do, all it really means is that I didn’t do what I said I would do. Anything beyond that is interpretation and judgment.
So while I am committed to being my word and keeping it, I am also committed to be powerful by making large commitments that stretch and challenge me, some of which I will not be able to keep. Remember Babe Ruth? He was committed to hitting the call every time he swung the bat.
He didn’t play safe, and only swing at the easy ones. As a result, he was the strike out king, and he was also the home run king.
So if you let your fear of striking out keep you from swinging, or even from being in the game, you will have a small life. Why not empower yourself by making commitments and promises beyond your current ability and resources so that you have to grow and expand? The inevitable result is that your impact in life will be a hundred times greater, and isn’t that what you really want?
Promise/commitment is the source of perseverance that makes you UNSTOPPABLE!
No obstacle of any size can overcome perseverance generated by a promise/commitment.
The COACH—The POWER is in your PARTNERSHIP
“Most people go to their grave with their songs still unsung.” Oliver Wendell Holmes
What do all Professionals have? They all have a COACH . So why not you?
Coaching is the missing piece for many people. It is arrogance to think that we can succeed as a long ranger without coaching. If you want to be powerful, get a coach. If you want to empower others, be a coach.
Life is best played and enjoyed as a team sport. Everyone needs a partner, and to be a partner.
Everyone needs to be part of a team. And everyone needs coaching.
• The Essence of coaching is giving and shifting PERSPECTIVE vs. giving information
• The Focus of coaching is to build PEOPLE; the myth is that you build a business
• The Purpose of coaching is to EMPOWER people to effective action
• The Heart of coaching is AFFIRMATION AND APPRECIATION
• The Mechanics of coaching is asking QUESTIONS, getting a specific measurable
commitment and creating accountability
• The Beginning of coaching is connecting and DECLARATION (no evidence needed)
Coaching is not about having or giving right answers. The essence of coaching is offering and shifting perspective. One powerful of this has to do with the idea of failure, or the fear of failure and rejection. IF you want to empower people, coach them to see that there is no failure.
Failure does not exist in nature or reality. It is a merely a concept that we have created that can be useful, but we often inadvertently use it against ourselves to disempower ourselves. Failure, or the fear of failure keeps us out of the game. It keeps us small and playing small.
A more empowering way to speak of failure is to simply state that you did not get the results you expected. This keeps it neutral. In the same way, success is getting the results you want. Both concepts, success and failure, are subjective and are based on interpretation, and do not exist as a facts.
Using the word “fail” or “failure” is often an invitation to judge or condemn yourself. It disempowers you. It has a sense of finality, and even carries a sense of your character being in question.
So while others may see you as failing, you can simply hold yourself as successful (as a declaration and as in process) while admitting that you are not yet getting the results you want and are committed to getting.
Why not reinterpret past so called “failures” as learning experiences in which you did not get the results you expected? After all, the only real mistakes are the ones you don’t learn from!
The COURSE (of action)—The POWER is in your PLAN
“He who fails to plan, plans to fail.” Author unknown
A course to run on is like tracks to a train. It keeps you on course. When a train gets off the tracks, we call it a train wreck. To be powerful, create or find a structure that will keep you on track.
• Have a course to run on—an action plan in 90 day segments for yourself and others (the how to)
• Stay on course and run to win, as in a race (“for the joy/reward set before us, we endure….”)
• Know ahead of time that it is also an Obstacle course. This is good—it’s supposed to be hard! Otherwise, you will never grow)
• Your business is a personal growth and development course Disguised to look like a business
“Of COURSE I am going to win!” You get what you Expect! Hold your success as inevitable!
Why is Empowerment so important? Because so much is at stake—the lives of others and your life and future.
What’s at stake for you? _________________________________________________________
What would it cost you if you don’t to all you can? ______________________________
“Who you are is important!
What you believe and what you do does make a significant difference!”
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